Blindsided

The world is different today. It's hostile. Even the sky, which I know I should find beautiful, fills me with sadness and longing.

I have never felt so lonely in my life; or maybe, I've just forgotten what it felt like.

I feel an overwhelming sense of myself, like I'm the only thing tangible in this whole universe and everything else is a hologram--almost convincing, but I know in my heart it's not real. I'm lost here. Even Sumantra won't talk to me anymore. I'm consuming myself, I feel sick with it. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to break myself open to free me from myself so I can find out, no, it's just a bad dream.

I can't wake up.