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Sunday, January 16, 2011

15 January 2011

Saturday, a lazy day.  And that’s fine because I really needed the sleep.
I go the feeling today that Michelle was mad at me.  She seemed a little brusque talking to me.  I think she may be starting to regret having me around.  I was afraid this was going to happen—that’s why I was so dubious about this whole arrangement to begin with.  She suggested that I plan dinner for the evening, which normally wouldn’t’ bother me at all.  But her tone…she seemed to be telling me, “You’re providing dinner tonight because you contribute absolutely nothing around here, you freeloading slob.”  That, added to her behavior the night before—
They had a guy over to set up their new computer, do all the data transfer, etc.  He was there for 7.5 hours, until 8:00 pm.  Michelle went out for Mexican takeout when he left; when she got home, she set the food on the counter, threw some placemats at me, and stalked out of the room.
So she’s allowed to act like that, but I’m not allowed to be a little quiet or even aloof sometimes?  I’m supposed to be “on”—chipper Shaina, 24/7?  It’s so exhausting.  They act like there’s some sort of delinquency in being relatively low-key.  I’m not a party animal.  I don’t mind going out from time to time, but I had so much of that in the years immediately following high school and it wore me out.  I still can’t stay up past 1:30 or 2:00 am without feeling nauseous.
So there’s that, and my fear in general of this whole school thing.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally excited, but a little afraid of the payment.  Job prospects don’t worry me so much, but oh, it’s a lot of money to get there.

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